Ah, February, the month of love! Love has definitely been the theme for my February...
...or more specifically learning to love the journey. Oh, I know, I know. “Loving the journey” just sounds like a whole lot of motivational hogwash but I’m not talking about some metaphorical journey. I’m talking about the journey that is the here and now. Everyday life. This month for me was all about learning patience and being 110% present. I’d spent so much of my time rehashing the past (Why did I rush that pause in the monologue?) or worrying about the future (Will I get a callback?) that I failed to focus on the fact that life was happening with every breathing second. Life is happening on the way to the train, on the 50 minute commute, in the waiting room lobby.
Lately I find myself more and more drawn to the ancient Tao philosophy; that of going with the flow of the river rather than push against the current. In doing so I see that things work out exactly how they’re supposed to. There’s no good or bad, just perception. I started to once again believe in signs, something I hadn’t done in years. This new-found state of mind of “doing nothing” has brought not only financial prosperity but also self-awareness. A flower doesn’t struggle to grow it just does, effortless and majestic. That tense energy I once associated with booking the “big job” shifted towards continuing my training. While I’m figuring out which acting class to take next, I’m still working on a few things on my own. Every night after dinner I practice my diction with the Edith Skinner book/CD, followed by monologue work on audition pieces, and lastly Uta Hagen exercises, all of these for at least 15 minutes each. Funny how in “doing nothing” I’ve become more productive and efficient (although that may have to do more with The Pomodoro Technique and less with Taoist Pooh). Doing these daily exercises may not have the full impact of a class but my only defense is this, it feeds me- it keeps me disciplined and it makes me happy. (And hey, if Shakira can teach herself English with a dinky dictionary, I can damn well master the British dialect!) I also do a bit of marketing every night. Not enough to drive me crazy but enough to be consistent: doing mailings to target agents and finally creating my website which is something I’d been putting off for a while. Maybe procrastination should be my next field of improvement- but that can wait till tomorrow. I created the website all by myself and sometimes you have to celebrate the small victories, which I sure did with a glass of milk since it was too late at night for a glass of red.
So this coming month I’m excited for more auditions but also to be going home for my Mami’s birthday. I’m really looking forward to a relaxing weekend: maybe I’ll swing in the hammock sipping on lemonade, or maybe lay out in the sand with “The Half-Blood Prince” or maybe just maybe do absolutely nothing at all.